We took an aptitude test a few weeks ago, right? Obviously it was completely superfluous for me, considering that I already know exactly what I am going to do with my life, but unfortunately McKinley High insisted that everybody take the test so they can help the deadbeats piece together their lives.
I didn't give the test much thought, since clearly anything it says is totally irrelevant to my life, but I got the results back today, and...this is simply unacceptable. UNACCEPTABLE. Though my immediate suspicion was that this was some sort of cruel joke on the part of the administrators, I have had the sinking feeling that maybe this is representative of a greater problem. Saying that I am destined to become a high school music instructor is indicative that I will suffer some sort of staggering failure somewhere down the line, and obviously my mind was immediately drawn to Regionals. Is a greater power trying to tell me that New Directions is going to lose?
I can't even handle this right now. Sometimes I look at Mr. Schuester and I imagine myself in his position fifteen years from now and the thought of it is enough to send me into convulsions that can only be cured by several hours of intensive listening to "Wicked". Is this honestly my destiny? Am I really going to be stuck in Ohio for the rest of my life?
I should just kill myself right now.